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The Fundamental Human Need to Belong

As humans, we all have a fundamental need to belong.

If we look back at ancestral times, we were designed to be in groups of 30-40 people and were valued by what we brought to the group.

Today, in modern society, we can be completely isolated with everything being brought to us.

We aren't wired to be encountered by strangers all day long where vou can feel completely alone in a crowd.

In addition to being a part of a small group, we really don't have any imminent danger or immediate essential needs not met. Adversity makes people act well whereas comfort makes people act poorly.

When we feel needed, we are able to ignore our own personal troubles.

When you look at those in the military who experienced being shot at, no electricity, no pets, no significant others, etc., but end up depressed when they get home, it doesn't seem to make sense. Why is that?

Or when you talk to a group of guys who were brutally "hazed" together while rushing a fraternity - but they miss that time tremendously and thought it was so "fun" and fulfilling. Why is that?

Because that platoon/hazing environment simulates what we were genetically designed to be in. In a tight knit community under harsh conditions.

We are descendents of people who acted well in a crisis.

When we live in safety and luxury, this really deprives people of a sense of purpose.

We all want to earn our existence. What makes people feel good is challenge - but challenge in the context of community.

Look at the graph above - you want to ideally find something in between here - where you are deeply known but also widely accepted.

Do you have this? Do you earn for this? What are your thoughts on this? Do we live in too much comfort today? Tell me in the comments below!




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